Wengler Annual Christmas Letter 2012

Welcome to the Annual Wengler Christmas we-like-pictures-so-we'd-rather-inundate-friends-with-more-than-they-can-handle-instead-of-mailling-just-one Letter!

No moves or new jobs!!! Still in the same house!!! Dale with the same employer for over three years!!! (not a typo!)  

With the fiscal cliff approaching, we've been a little worried about finances. Dale has been modeling on the side for LL Bean in Maine.  This shot was entitled, "Bad seaside tiger with a wool cap." 

Jahnelle and I went to the coast in Maine for a little get away. Here we are hiding from the park rangers behind a rock because we "forgot" to pay for entrance to the beach. 

Here is sweet Camden. All cute with his little peacoat jacket next to the fire. Isn't he adorable! You should see the little look on his face when he told us James' iPod was "swimming with the turtle!" (For those of you keeping track, that is one drowned iPod, one thrown iPod and one smashed LCD TV.) We have set up a 501(C)(3) if you would like to donate to our family. 

Here is Camden getting ready for a game we call "hog tie Camden and take a nap in safety." 

Who wants to play a game? This one we call, "nonstop flight to LA with Camden...not it!"  Wait, is that Camden's hand in a barf bag...yep it is! We were not the only ones excited when we landed...everybody cheered for us when we got off the plane!  

Nothing says "Coach" like these two guys tearing it up for 5 hours. One flight attended was talking "career change" after sharing her life with my two boys for so many hours. 

Who is dumber...the guy who gives Camden a firework or the people who remain next to Camden after receiving it? Camden told us that "when I burn you that means I love you."  

This is the look of a wise sage right before he strikes. 

Camden continues to date older women. He likes to call them his "lady friends." 

Little guy just wears his emotions on his sleeve! This is Camden's "angry face with hand cocked back" which is standard.  

This is Camden at a recent mixed martial arts match. He was disqualified due to "unnecessary roughing and flabby skin exposure." He is hoping to make a comeback next year. 

Look at the little vampire! Don't worry, it's just Camden - not a vampire that could bite your neck and kill you. That would be too quick and easy. Instead he just destroys your house, robs you of any sleep and steals your heart. All the while openly mocking your attempt at parenting. 

Camden is the only child at home now during the day. In order to keep him busy and happy we got him a dog. We named him Baxter (Maine) and what a little joy he is. 

Let's play a game: Baxter has done which of the following:

                   1. Ripped the wooden trim off the walls and ate it.

                   2. Pulled out the dryer vent and crushed it. 

                   3. Chewed off door handles.

                   4. Gnawed on every piece of wooden furniture we own. 

                   5. Ripped holes in every blanket in our house.

                   6. Caused the purchase (not rental) of a Rug Doctor machine.

  7. Knocked over the bird cage, pulled out the parakeet and ate it.

If you chose, D. "All of the Above" you would be correct. Camden and Baxter have cost our family approximately $2,876 this year (assuming a fair market value of the parakeet at $19).  We sure love them both! 

James is in high school now, which means he is cool. He likes to do "parkour" which involves jumping over things, doing flips and otherwise reaching the deductible on our health insurance in month two of the fiscal year. 

Here is James jumping off the high board doing a dive called "ants in my pants." 

James was a platypus for halloween. His grandmother made the entire costume from scratch. It was very realistic and sort of creepy. 

James has always loved dressing up like animals. We are pretty sure it's just a phase and we are not really alarmed. We are totally fine with it. We don't see a problem at all. It seems like no big deal. We are not concerned and see no reason to worry. Kids do these types of things all the time and they turn out fine. We think it is normal. We think he is OK. We see no reason to worry...wait we already said that. 

Well, I knew this day would come. It was all part of my master plan. By marrying someone taller, it just meant my kids would have a fighting chance. In 2012 James is now officially taller than me. He never fails to remind me that he is taller and will likely kept growing. I also remind him that I can crush him on the wrestling mat and someday when I can't do that, as long as I am still employed, I will have a ready supply of industrial pepper spray that can reach him 30 feet away. 

James continues to wrestle, play the French horn and enjoy his friends. More importantly, he is a great older brother and example. 

Jacob has decided to go Vegan this year. He did this for a day. After eating nothing but fruits and high fiber grains, he realized that what goes in must come out and some things come out differently than others. 

Jacob was the Hobbit for Halloween. The costume was great and we saved money because the hair on his feet is real. 

Jacob also wanted make sure he gave a shout out to our Troops overseas. God Speed. 

This is Jacob's "water wedgie" face. 

Here are James and Jacob on the NYC Subway. Lots of folks kept asking if they were Amish or Orthodox Jews. Once the boys said, "Mormon" many folks responded with "Well I voted for your kind!"  

Jacob is also wrestling this year and really enjoys it. He loves playing the tuba and baking things with a suit on to share with his church class or fellow scouts. 

Emma is getting closer to being a teenager. Just recently she opened a bottle of nail polish, walked from her room, through the hallway, into our room and up on our bed. Funny thing was the bottle was empty by the time she got to our bed. She had turned her arm to the side and haphazardly poured it out all the way over and no, even the good Rug Doctor has his limits and nail polish in carpet is one of them. 

Emma was Hermione for Halloween. Unlike the books, she is more like the Queen of Hogwarts and everybody has to bow to her (which is always hard to explain to company)

Here she is going down the water slide flashing gang signs to her peeps. 

Here is Emma practicing for the day when suitors will inevitable come calling. Through these trainings with her brothers, she is learning how to beat down the male species physically (she has mastered mental beatings years ago).  

She is still our only girl and we love her tons. She also keeps her room clean so she is the only named beneficiary in our will.

Christian is now older (all their ages elude me). Here he is having his birthday cake along with scrambled eggs and sausage. That's how we roll in the Wengler family. Notice Camden has his eyes on the sausage prize. 

He is pretty much one of the boys. Here we are in Maine playing in the mud flats. Do you know where rotting sea life goes when it dies...the mud. Any idea how it smells? We know. 

Christian was Han Solo for Halloween. It was a tough sell with his two front teeth missing and his accompanying lisp. 

He is the only Wengler that is able to put Camden asleep. 

Don't they look adorable here!  When Christian and Camden get together they create in the corporate world what is called "Synergy" which means when they join forces they can destroy more together than they would be able to do by themselves. Perhaps an example is helpful: 

Dale: "Why are there dents all over the freezer in the garage?"

Camden: "Christian got me the hammer and I made the freezer  pretty"

Christian: "While he was denting the freezer, I was cheering him on and painting the garage floor for you. How do you like them apples Dad?"

As many of you know, Jahnelle has had a difficult year. It started awhile back when she married me and her difficulty continues to this day. She puts up with a lot, but keeps on trucking. She packs, she moves, she packs again. This year I got her a "no moving pass" for her birthday. She loved it! (I told her is was good for 90 days, but could be renewed). 

She has made lots of new friends her in PA. She attends Yoga and as a sign of solidarity I do as well (you should hear my "Namaste")

We took the family out to Yosemite this summer to spend time with her family. 

Whenever she gets upset I have to drop everything and braid her hair. This was awkward on a public trail at Yosemite, but whatever. Real men braid their wife's hair. 

Jahnelle did manage to have some fun this summer at the pool. Several times the life guards had to tell her to tone it down...

I (Dale) haven't changed much this year, although people tell me there is something "different" about me. 

The water still makes my lips purse and I uncontrollably scream like a little school girl when going down the slide. 

I love taking my kids into NYC. The people are friendly and helpful. Including the worker in a manhole that took this picture. 

The highlight of the year was a call I got from my good friend. I was simply told to take several specific days off from work. He picked me up and we went fly fishing in North Carolina. 

I did have to dress up like a woman

and flex my guns. 

I also went rock climbing in Maine. My friend (guide) told me not to worry about wearing a helmet something about Darwin and gene pool purification. 

I had my 20 year H.S. reunion and found this old picture. It looks like someone lit a hill on fire with the numbers "1992." That is property damage and totally disrespectful. If the cops showed up I hope they caught those kids. Especially the one yelling, "run! run! as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man!" I'll bet that kid is locked up somewhere doing time; at least he should be. 

We took the kids to Disneyland in CA and had a great time with my in-laws. This is a shot of us going down a fast and scary ride called Splash Mountain. Let's just say my pants were wet before we hit the water.

The year could not be complete without camping in Maine. Moxie was flowing and whoopie pies abounded. We had a wicked good time and can't wait to return although we cannot to that campground.  We misunderstood the bathing suit requirement at the beach...awkward. 

I am always jealous of the fancy Christmas cards we get with these beautiful families. Everybody is successful, smiling and recently showered.  Here is my best attempt at something like that...although the showering part is relative. 

To be fair, this picture is more realistic of our lives. I am yelling at the @#$% timer that just took a picture of me walking towards the camera. Camden is "petting"  the dog. Christian is making fart noises, Emma is smiling because she just cleaned her room by shoving everything under her bed, James is actually choking out the dog to practice his wrestling, Jacob is pinching James' shoulder (look closely) and Jahnelle just smiles and laughs.. 

Jahnelle and I celebrate 16 years of marriage and wonder at how time moves so fast. We are grateful for each other and for friends and family. Some of you have visited and others only threaten. We have room and now that the boys are older their aim is better and the toilet mostly returns to the down position relatively dry. We hope you'll stop by. God bless you and yours during this Christmas Season. 

Keep it real in 2013. 

Love, Dale, Jahnelle, James, Jacob, Emma, Christian, Camden and Baxter. 

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